Dear Diary, why am I so rubbish at blogging/life at the moment? I've just come home from visiting my gran for a few days where I've had time to think, possibly overthink ... By no means do I think for a minute that there aren't bigger things going on in the world. I'm well aware and send my condolences to all those involved and caught up in the recent happenings all over the world. But ... I need a rant/catch up.
I've been reading the wonderful book 'The C Word' by Lisa Lynch. Having enjoyed the BBC film I decided I wanted to read the book. I've been reading it for a few days now and am already on chapter 30. I just can't seem to put it down. Having started a blog to cope with her cancer, I love her style of writing. I can't relate to the journey from an illness perspective but as a blogger I can relate. She also discusses many other factors about life which many people can relate to.
I don't want to spoil the book but it's certainly made me think about life. Cue quarter life crisis right about now. Having recently changed career, I'm one lost little fish in a big ocean. Being freelance/self employed isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's either bloody hard work or there's no work. I always knew it would be tough starting out and that I would have to work a lot for free, but that doesn't make it any easier at all. It's made me question on more occasions than I care to admit 'what is the purpose of life?'.
Now it's a lovely Sunday afternoon so I'm not going to go all deep and question life, it's just a passing thought, well recurring thought really. Besides work I also question other parts of life. Why can't Ben and I have the money to live together? Why do we have to live so far apart (2 hours!)? And so on... Of course, money is the answer. And no work means no money.
I've also put on a little bit of extra padding the past few months. A stone and a half to be precise. I'm not quite sure where it came from but it's certainly not budging easily. Nor do I have the motivation to do much about it. I think I'm sort of hoping it's going to magically disappear back to where it came from ... wherever that may be!
And finally, why the hell can't I get my - slightly larger than usual - arse back into gear with blogging. I seem to have this mental block at the moment that prevents me from sitting down and actually blogging. I really miss it but again, where has my motivation disappeared to?
Enough of my ramblings but hopefully this post makes some sort of sense and gives you an insight to where I may have been whilst absent from the blog. If anyone finds my motivation lying in a ditch somewhere, please return asap!
Does this ever happen to you? Or am I well and truly losing it?